I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
