dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
