Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
