i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
