hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
