arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
