We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
