i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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