the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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