I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
