If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
