i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
