everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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