Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
