Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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