Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
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