so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
