Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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