Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
