this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
