nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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