Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Floor bacon is actually really good
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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