You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
