During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize