i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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