Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Randomize
