sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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