ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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