so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
