i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
