Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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