No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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