P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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