When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
