I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
