the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
