ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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