Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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