yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize