she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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