Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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