By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Of course I have a pirate flag
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
do nipples grow back?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
