are you still at the devil's house?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize