we have officially mastered the walk of shame
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
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We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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