I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
