I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
