just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
