You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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