I'm jealous of your bromance
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
