So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
