I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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