....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
