he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize