dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
