I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
