But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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