I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
