you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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