Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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