Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
