The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
